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Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Where my heart is at today!

Each Wednesday I read a fellow Blog Mommy and her pour your heart out link and this Wednesday I have something to say so here goes..

How do you go from spending 24 hrs a day with someone to 2.5? I will find out in 6 short weeks.
With my work schedule the way it is now I will get about about 2 and a half hours each day with my kids.. In this time I am suppose to feed them twice (which includes prep of these meals),bath them both once, dress or undress them 2x,brush their teeth twice, put on or take off their shoes twice and get them out of bed and put them to bed.

Where is the time for hugs, playing, laughing and watching my babies?

I don't know??? This is the thought that keeps me up at night, has me on the couch in tears as I type.

How do I find time to squeeze in 1 million I love yous each day?

I know we will work it out we always do but I just feel struck with fear!
Fear of how I know I feel when I am rushed, fear that I will not be able to do it, fear that my kids will some day think I wish I had more time with my mom.  I know how the three of us go in the groove when I was at work but I don't know how this will work with our new family of four.

This morning Lovely and I went into Toad's room when he was waking up and I got to watch the two of them on his bed playing with his cars, and hugging each other and laughing I watched like I was never going to see it again. I watched and teared up. Silly really but my heart is sad to think these type of moments will not be everyday but saved only for 2 short days at the end of long busy weeks.

Please know I am aware that people do this every single day hell I DID THIS! And I love my job.. I look forward to returning and starting a new beginning of working and raising our family of four. I just wish I could add some time to the clock so I could do everything for everyone, and still enjoy those moments with my kids.

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." 

Bring on my new Beginning BUT NOT one second sooner then 6 weeks.. I got to get myself together or it will be a very messy!!!


  1. I wish you the best of luck. I'm sure it will be hard at first, but like you said you will make it work. And having a job you love to go back to is a great thing.

    Stopping by from shell's.

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  3. It's a big change for you, but you will find a way to do it. *hugs*

  4. You will make it and you will be surprised at all the little special moments you carve out still.

    good luck.

    Stopping by from PYHO

  5. Ugh - so sad for you and dreading my return to work too. Enjoy every second and know that it does get easier...and you will find ways to make the time count even more!


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