Image Map

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Losing It!

So in an attempt to lose some of this baby weight I had this brilliant stupid idea to cut the one/ few/ case  of beer I have each night out. This would cut some of those empty calories.. well this was not the week to pick to do that.

And lets just say after my little grocery shopping trip yesterday I was looking for my flask in my diaper bag.. (JOKING I of course keep it in my purse).

The kids and I headed to the Woodstock Walmart yesterday with a mission.. Get pool supplies, groceries and have some McDonald's (don't even start with the whole McDonalds but you cut out beer? I got it and I thought it too.. ). So we rolled up to the Walmart around 11:15 and when I pulled into my driveway at 3:30 I wanted to get out lay under the tire and have the Toad park the van on me.

The day didn't start off good, I again made the brilliant choice to cut my coffee intake big mistake HUGE! so I was grumpy.. I found a toy that the Toad just got and it was broken so I full on lost it! He was crying, I was about to cry and all the window were open so the neighbours were about to call CAS. It was BAD!

We were able to pull ourselves together and got to Walmart, he had the fear of god evil mommy returning in him to be good and he sure was.

I found a killer cart there a few weeks back that has a car seat built in and a seat beside it for the older kids BINGO! We got Lovely in that seat and buckled her in.. IE a strap that goes over their shoulders and comes down in a v at the front to buckle. She was good as gold as we have lunch and the toad was coming down from the drama of seeing his mom's head spin around before we left.

We finished lunch and I put the toad in the seat beside Lovely and started off shopping, two seconds in Lovely boots Toad in the head HARD.. oh yeah the way she is sitting and the way he is she has a direct shot to his melon.. He laughs and we carry on..

Fast Forward an hour and half and he is NOT laughing anymore, he for sure has a mild concussion from the non stop boots to the head , Lovely is screaming , I am sweating and we have half our groceries on the belt and have been waiting 15 mins well Miss Slow as hell cashier waits for a manager to come over.

Picture it I am stopped, stuck and not drinking so what the hell am I going to do??

Oh goodie Camryn is now slowly trying to hang herself on the seat/buckle. I try to grab her and stop her from twisting, she is crying and the buckle is leaving a red mark on her neck..I can hear it now..oh sorry Honey I went with two kids and came back with one cuss the other had to much of Walmart and decided to end it.

I undid the buckle and started to de-tangle her, at the same time Toad decided he had had just about enough as well and start to stand up in the seat. I stopped and gave him the you have to be BLEEPING kidding me look. He sat down fast! I got her out and at this point am about ready to sit on the ground and start rocking.

The sweet shopper behind me offered to assist and I said Oh hell yes and handed my baby over!
Rule number one of  good parenting- Give your kid to a stranger whenever you feel like your about to lose it.

I grab Toad and got him out put Lovely in the seat he was and thought I was winning.


Lovely was still screaming, now the Toad was in Electronics pickin himself out an iPhone and our line was still not moving..


Please know I have a terrible problem with Patience so imagine me at this point.. LOSING IT BAD.. I was that mom who looks like she is about to snap.

I did the only thing I could do LAUGH oh and Momma got her drink on last night! Screw it I will lose this weight somehow.. or I will just get me some bigger mom jeans next time I am at Walmart.


  1. lol... I could picture this the whole time I was reading it. Two more sleeps and we can party like we are 20 again :)
    I would love to know how the lady in front of you would have told this story... lol

  2. Dying laughing! I love those carts and I only have the one little one - If I tried to fit Kiddo in there I'd break him. I think a trip to Walmart deserves at least one little drink...a shot - it's so small it makes no difference except to your sanity! Cheers friend!

  3. This was hilarious...not so much for you, but I'm very amused by your hellish recap of the Walmart trip. I certainly remember those days...if only I had as much control now as I thought I had back then! LOL
    I'm glad you made it thru in one piece...and remember that one day you'll look back and say that these were the good old days. : )

  4. This is why two kids scare the hell out of me. All I ever get with my son is looks like he is drugged or something because he is so well behaved. NO he is not drugged! He is my husbands son and it takes a lot to push him over the edge. And well shots to the head from a sibling and a slow cashier just may do it! Note to self: Avoid wal mart if we have another kid!


Love me some Comments!! Feel free to share your thoughts with me..

Image Map