OCD Shower

So as you know our little Toad has a bunch of "isums" and well, I made a HUGE mistake the other day as a parent of a child with "isums" or OCD or whatever you want to call it.

It was Saturday and Rob and I were getting ready to head out for the night, we were in a rush (as I always am) and I had left very little time for a shower. I put Lovely in her bouncy chair outside the washroom and jumped in, oh here we go...
Mom
MOMMY,
Mommy where are you?
oh Mom are you in the shower? Can I have a shower too?

HMMMM.. A) this could be a great way to keep him busy for the next 10 mins as I get ready? B) this could be WAY more work then I have time for? C) He hates showers what the heck?

Sure I said.. This boy will take about 15mins to 20 mins to get out of his clothes before his bath each night but this day he was done and waiting to get in with in seconds.. we have a tiny stall shower in our en suite so I was going to get out and let him shower for a few minutes.. I did that and when he was done I turned off the water but still needed some time so I said "buddy can you do me a fave?"
Yeah what  Mommy?
"Can you squeegee off the door?"

OH MY GOD!!!

25 MINS LATER!

YES 25 minutes later, a glass of water and me beggin him to get out later! This kid was working so hard he had to ask me for a glass of water.. He was so obsessed with getting every last drop of water off that door.
That kid cracks me up! He and I are in for a LONG ride...

Random Acts Of Love

Last night as I laid awake thinking.. wow I do that too much, I was thinking how at this time of great sadness I have witnessed so many amazing acts of Love. Of course the most vivid one is my mom and our fisherman, the way they hold each others hands, the way they look at each other, the way my mom helps Bert with everything from a glass of water to putting cream on his hands, it is amazing. My mom would be the first to tell you these past few weeks have been beautiful. I know it sounds strange but when you get to have such amazing conversations with the person you love before you lose them it is life changing and beautiful.

I also have witnessed the most amazing acts of love and friendship, it brings tears to my eyes and makes my heart fill with such love. Our famous Barbie designer and my aunt have been besties since, well since I was playing Barbies. She is not only a friend but family, and the other day my aunt was going to be going up to say her goodbyes and was of course extremely sad, sad for herself, her husband but so sad for her children's up coming lose (as we all are) and there at the door step was just what she needed.. Her bestie with some beautiful flowers! But that was not what see needed the most, it was what followed a long, LONG hug. The only kind of hug you can get from someone you love and trust. I stood there watching and thought that is what friendship is about, it is about knowing when your friend needs a laugh, when they need a long hug and when they just need to see you. I too have taken some of those long long hugs from my besties as well probably my favourite thing is sharing memories of their relationships with Mac.

But for me there is one buddy who has shown me the most amazing compassion and loving friendship, Miss P you have let me interrupt her family time with countless tear filled calls where she has listened and shared in my sorrow and fear and never rushed me to finish or made me feel like she would rather be doing something else and that means the world to me.

All my friends have been so wonderful and loving to our family, from daily calls to check in to emails to say they are thinking of us (thank you they mean a lot), to phone calls to see how Al is doing, emails from as far away as Vancouver and Ireland to share their personal experiences with Al or with lose, to meeting my mom for lunch and a quick trip away from the hospital.

Life is about the relationships we make and the lives that we touch and I want you all to know that you have touched mine and helped me so much during this hard time.
My mom is amazing at looking at the positive in this and most situations and the love and support of those around her makes it so much easier to stay focused on what is important. And that is time with her bestie.

One last note, when someone is going through something hard or extremely sad I know most people like myself feel like we don't know what to say or how to make them feel better but I will tell you something from past experience and this one too you don't always remember what people said but you always remember if they were there..
Enjoy the sun on your face today!!

The Day the World was Deep Fried!

This Saturday the hubby and I dropped the kidlets off at Nonna and Papa got a home cooked dinner and then headed out for the night. We had not see the soon to be Richardson family in a long time and with no ball this summer we were in need of a fix.. Add in the Walters crew and you got yourself a fun night.

Rob wanted to go to The Palasad  and go bowling and have some beers, so after a few at Chris and Andrea we headed out, little did we know this was going to turn into the night the world was deep fried.. Palasad has some yummy yummy deep fried treats and we tried them all.. But the big draw was for the Deep Fried Pickles YUMMO

but of course we added in some wings.. only there was a race to the big one and someone lost this one to Rob.. don't worry buddy you got the Jersey so your okay!

the problem with a night of all you can eat deep fried everything and endless pitchers of draft beer is your belly doesn't feel that hot the next day :( but I would say it was 100% worth it as I had a wonderful time out with amazing friends, family and my awesome hubby..

Here are a few more pics from the night.. and p.s we are planning another one of these nights for Rob's bday at the end of April.. all those who want to join are welcome! and maybe next time we will be bowling ha ha

 I was there well half of me was :)

The perfect pour sweet Andrea

Time to go home I think :)



This ain't no Barbie Dream house!

As a mom of a almost 4 year old boy it always strikes me as funny how different boys play then girls. Playing Superhero, Cars, Toy Story or anything really usually results in a ton of smashing.. Smashing toys , crushing hands and even jumping and smashing me.. It is nothing at all like how my sister and I use to play Barbies, no hanging with Barbie's peep Skipper, no carefree driving in her pink convertible with her man Ken and  no fashion shows by the famous Barbie designer Jill Jovichevich, No playing "boy" is so different.

Here are a few pics of a recent AM Batcave play fest...

looks so sweet and carefree

Till the cave gets smashed and crashed (all I wanted was superman to be the lookout)

so they all dive on him and crush him and the cave comes down

oh look a casualty he lost his hand, better him then me!

He said Dad I have your project for today (that is his hand in his)

But at the end of the day he still wants me to play with him, he still gets excited when I take my place on the floor and I can still get in a few kisses, a hug here and there and a ton of laughs with my toad!

BUSTED

Well Crop Circles hit again the other morning..

Only this time I caught the Evil Stacker!

Just gonna have to wait

With us moving in to the new digs in December the spring brings a big surprise for us.. what will the gardens look like. We moved in after the snow had fallen so we didn't have a chance to do a fall clean up so the spring one is pretty big.. So far two days, 4  tubs, 5 yard waste bags and 3 tired people (the toad is lovin the clean up ) and we are half way there! Check out some of the clean up pics.

a small portion of what needed to be done

he has been so awesome and loves to do it

Everyone did their part.. thank you lovely for taking your nap outside!

ooops washroom break

takin on the first project around the yard

What we have cleaned up so far.. still about half the yard to do

All this work makes you go a bit crazy!

AND THIS IS THE YARD TODAY!!

Guess the rest will have to wait!



Just another Monday

So just another trip to Canadian Tire, we always grab a coffee and make it a bit of a outing for the whole family.. I don't know how we do it but we seem to find fun in the stranges ways.. The only way to share this trip with you is with pictures..

 The Captain has taken place on the ship!

 look what we found.. a helmet!

 Toad and his version of Wilson

 Ah I think your dad will be soo happy!

Oh I love my boys xoxoxo

Toad just found out Mill St is not playing this year!!!

A special Date

Now that I have kids I have been rethinking birthday gifts,  I was thinking about some of my most fave childhood memories and they were all about experiences with people I love not toys/clothes.

So I decided to start to give experiences as much as I can, now we all know I will still give birthday presents at times but for the most part I am going to try and give experiences. 

I wanted to take a special lady out for her 10th birthday, my first pick was to take her for tea and we were both so excited, one small problem the place was closed.. WHAT! Oh no.. my first experience gift and it was done before we even left.. hmmm her mom then gave me the perfect idea MANICURE!

This week I was able to spend a few hours with one of my most favorite girls laughing, getting our nails done and doing something she had never done before together.

SHHHHHHHHHH don't tell anyone but these experience gifts are way better to give then clothes and toys cuss you get to spend time with the special people in your life as well as spoil them for their birthday!

Here are a few pics from our day!

Getting ready to go in!

She was soo excited!

Are you kidding me the best birthday gift I have ever given!

St.Patty Day

WOW what a fun day today is, I love St.Patty Day! I love that their is a holiday for beer!! Growing up with a best friend who are from Ireland makes this one of the best days of the year.. So to my girls may today bring you all the laughter and fun you have shown me over the years.. Enjoy the day and here are a few fun pics of patty's past. Even the one we had in August! P.S Bucket List is Ireland on Patty's Day so Emma B you best have room for me one year!

Have one for me!

Feeling the Love

I have been off this week, and finding joy in everyday has not been that easy, then I came home from getting groceries tonight and found this in my driveway...

As I unpacked the groceries I thought of all the amazing acts of love I have witnessed this week and this is just one of them. Hug your family! Life is awesome you just have to be open to seeing it...and Mom I would write this on your driveway if I could.. xoxoxo

Gone Fishing!

Yesterday I spend the day with one of the most important men in my life , Mac is not doing so well and I am not 100% sure he knew I was there most of the time but what I do know is that I got to have the most amazing day fishing with him.

Bert is on a lot of medication for pain related to bone cancer as well as cancer in different parts of his body, he has been so strong and fought so hard but he is tired and we know our time with him is limited now.. oh gosh even typing that makes me cry..

So we decided on Sunday that my hubby would stayed home from work yesterday so I could go up to see him.
Our sweet Bert was sleeping when I arrived so I sat quietly watching him and remembering all the amazing times we had shared. He started to stir so I went over to see him and he said Oh Hey there sweetie, I started to cry and told him how much I loved him.. we then spent an hour or so alone just sitting.

All I wanted to get from this visit was to hold his hand, to hug him and to tell him I loved him.. SO I of course held that hand soo tight, one small problem he wanted to use his hand.. So finally I let go and watched him work. Bert's eyes were closed for most of the visit but he was working away with his hands.. ah I smiled big and felt great joy as I watch him, I wished we had done this before and not yesterday.

Mom,Grandma and Grandpa arrived and I said He's fishing.. our fisherman was happy and working away at getting the big catch.. I will save that moment in my memory bank as one of great joy and sorrow of my life.. I wish we had fished together on a sunny day in Bayfield but I am so happy we got to do it either way. I love you Bert!!

Happy Birthday Kelly Belly

Today is my oldest friends birthday. Happy Birthday Kelly Belly! I have literally known her since she was born, I am sure our parents had drinks and played darts that night :)

Our families could very well be on Days of Our Lives, see my mom dated her dad and stayed friends after, her dad was buddies with my dad who of course got married to my mom and then we all lived happily ever after.. well for 17 years or so!

Miss Kelly is like a sister to me, our families spent every weekend together growing up and the memories are countless.We would played barbies for hours, my dad still calls Brownies Twinkies cuss of you, there were nature hikes that could have turned you into a Cyclops, I lost my first tooth standing beside you eating an apple, we added a boy to the mix when Shaun was born, Your mom gave me my favourite childhood birthday present (a tub of grated Mozzarella Cheese), you call my grandparents grandma Joan and Papa Ken, We got caught smoking together, ah kel if you put the smoke up your sleeve the smoke will still comes out the end!

We may not see each other as much anymore but we have been to each others weddings and spent a day each summer  introducing our kids to our favorite place on earth... I am sure I never missed a birthday of ours growing up so I didn't want today to go by without wish you a HUGE happy birthday and tell you how much I LOVE YOU and all the amazing memories that go along with our lifelong friendship xox

Boys Weekend

Well the Hubby got off nice and early this morning for his boys weekend. Well really a boys night away, the roads were closed last night so they were not able to get off till today.

So the kids and I are flying solo today.. what to do what to do.. have a sleepover at Nonna and Papa's... ha ha I am not crazy why not have some help and an amazing dinner YUMMO!

As we speak I am watching the toad play Wii with Nonna and kill himself laughing, Lovely is in the circle of neglect, dinner is smelling soo good and I plan to end the night off with a soak in the hot tub.. Life is pretty sweet!

If you ask the Toad what his dad is doing right now he will tell you getting drunk with his buddies, he sure is a smart little guy.. wonder what he will say next weekend when it is Mommy's night out with her girlfriends??
Happy Saturday everyone! Let the countdown begin for girls night 7 days!

Cabin Fever

We got it bad here! I woke up this morning in a horrible mood! Nothing the kids or hubby did to set it off just grumpy. When you leave our room and head down the hall towards the stairs you see straight out to our back , I was greeted by the beautiful big old trees in the yard being covered in snow.. wow that is soo pretty I thought and then the bad mood hit me.. more snow ah man.  I tried to snap out of it all day, the kids and I tried everything to make ourselves laugh!

But I still feel like I have a zoo of animals all stuck in the house!

Ah we need the spring to come so we can get out and get moving, start to enjoy our backyard again, long walks and time at the park! I hope this bad mood is gone by tomorrow cuss Rob is off on a boys weekend! 



Parking Lot 7

As we pulled into our parking space I realized this was the first time I had let it sink in, why we were here. My body was shakie and I felt sick to my stomach, were we going to leave this space later today and our whole world have changed? What did today hold for our family? As the three of us run through the lot trying to stay dry I did as I often do and counted my blessings, I was so happy he had no idea how scared his dad and I were, I was sad that so many parents before us and so many after us will have to make this run across the lot to building E. As parents do we bottled our fear and joked around on the elevator and cheered when he found the number four and pushed the button for us. Fourth Floor, Paediatric Hematology/Oncology BARF. I felt like I could not get my breath but at the same time felt like I needed to exhale oh man this week had been hell, we had stayed so positive but now we are here it is real.

A week ago today Toad woke up and could not walk. Yeah a 3 year old who would not get out of bed rather couldn't, after many frantic calls it was decided we needed to go to the ER. I packed a billion books, my two sweet children into the car and headed for the Tillsonburg hospital, Rob was on route from work and we were going to figure out why our boy couldn't stand up.
After a full day at the hospital countless xrays and a bunch of blood work to rule out anything scary we were sent home. The Dr said from a high level look his blood work was good and he was not sure what had happened and to follow up with our family Dr when he returned from his vacation. UM okay.. no answer but the toad was walking and they had ruled out anything bad (Leukemia ). We came home and were happy, life went on, the toad was watching a movie resting on the couch Rob and I were enjoying a game of darts and the phone rang. I looked and saw it was the hospital oh no were my words as I ran upstairs with the phone.

Okay , Okay , Okay was all I remember saying as the Dr informed me that my baby's blood work at a deeper level was not good, he could no longer rule out Leukemia. If you read my blog you know I hate Cancer, my family does not need to be introduced to a new form. I called Rob upstairs and told him the news, I never want to have to tell my husband anything like that again, together we lost it. You never ever, ever want to hear your kids name and cancer in the same sentence. Not our baby, my heart broke when I looked into my husbands eyes and saw his fear as I knew I looked the same.

NO we are not going there NO we will not.. He will be fine I said we have to work hard to put only positive energy towards this I told Rob, the doctor mentioned other possible reason for the blood work to come back like this but still he would want us to see a specialist which brings us to today.

As you sit on the 4th floor you see things that should never happen, you think of journey's that are too hard for people so little. I promise you that I never thought about the results being negative till today, and when I was in those chairs watching my boy play with the trains I was breaking inside, I was soo scared, I was soo close to tears, I was emotionally drained and I felt blessed. Yes Blessed I felt blessed to be his mom and no matter what happened today we were going to be okay, cuss we had each other.

The three of us played cards and games as we waited for the results to come back and when they called our name I stopped for just a second to soak in that moment. Was it the moment before life changed? maybe, I didn't know but I was not going to forget it. I wanted to be in it. Thankfully for us the results were fine and he most likely had a viral infection.
As we drove out of the  parking lot 7 Rob looked to me and gave me a high five. Yeah it felt like a high five moment.

This week I think Rob and I learnt something, you just don't know when your life could get tossed up in the air so relax, have fun, laugh, play, let the kids stay up a bit later, read an extra story, hug them longer, let them pump gas or help with the salad there are thousands of parents around the world who wish they were in our shoes and that their babies were home with them and healthy.

Life is Short ! HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awkward!!!

Tuesday is swimming day in our house, Lovely swims in the morning and the Toad at night so off to the pool we went this morning. It was a nice day the sun was shining I had a large coffee before we arrived I was feeling good!
WOW was I in for a surprise, we entered the sauna of a change room and WHAM naked older women. WHAT THE HELLLL.. this never happens at this pool so I was really shocked, I have changed in that room 200 times with the toad and I have NEVER seen this before. Don't get me wrong women get changed so there is some skin but it is either semi covered or done in the change rooms within the room but this women was full on walking around the toddlers and babies buck naked.
I swear I laugh a bit at the sight, see I had rounded the corner and she was at the blow dryers in all her morning glory. I couldn't really turn and go somewhere else as there was no one in that area but her.. crap! Just don't make any eye contact...
Oh good another mom got caught by the streaker, her face was awesome ha ha, so I started to talk with her we just need to avoid the naked women's looks ...yikes I feel like I know her? hmm don't make eye contact the last thing I want is to be stuck in a chit chat with her.
I was moving fast trying to ram my sweetie in her swimming diapers we are almost done now.. oh no why! why did I look up.. eye to eye we were now going to talk.
Me-Hi
Naked Lady-Hi how old is your baby?
Not naked women-5 months
Birthday Suit Betty- ah I have two boys..... insert 6 min chat ARE YOU KIDDING ME
Finally she left to put some damn clothes on. Thank god.. but that is when it all came together, I knew it. I knew I knew her, I knew I had seen her around town and now I will never ever be able to eat A&W again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crop Circles

A strange thing is going on in our house, I am not sure how it is happening see much like crop circles it happens when no one is in the room or looking. The first occurrence happened this Saturday, I put Lovely on the bedroom floor while I was blow drying my hair. When I came out of the bathroom this is what I saw...

This is not an attempt to strengthen her arms!

There was no one in the room when I came out and all those toys had not been in our room when I closed the door? What was going on? I of course called the Toad but he had heard nothing or seen nothing. Ah well chalk it up as a one time mystery

OR WAS IT?!

I went to the front door to get the paper today and this is what I found when I came back

The Evil Stacker strikes again!

I of course asked the Toad  he said he didn't see anything..Calling Nancy Drew we have ourselves a wee mystery!

For Sale

One new model baby! Sweet and Loving by day, party animal by night. I remember when you first bring your sweet baby home from the hospital you expect to be up at night and you do it.. do you love it? NAH but it is part of the job.
What gets me with each of my little offspring is when they go from sleeping all night to partying at night again. Toad use to at each new stage IE rolling over,standing up, getting a new tooth, trying a new food, seeing a flick of dust change his routine and get up at night. With him he has always been hell to put to bed but once asleep he stays asleep, so if he got up at night we would battle and once he got to sleep he was out again for the night.
With Lovely she now gets up in the night and party's for an hour sometimes 2. Not crying or upset just laughing, yelling and full on awake!
She must not have got my note from the universe that she was to be our easy baby!
Lovely is 5 months old now so she should be able to go all night and not eat but when she is up bustin a move in her crib her belly is rumbling.. ah great just great another mommy internal battle.. do I feed her? do I not? Is she too young to go all night? is she old enough to go with out ? Is there something wrong? Is she getting sick? What is coming down the pipe? AHHHHH all this battling goes on during Lovely dance party each night.
All this partying makes a mom want to scream but then you head into that room and see her buggin around her crib, she smiles up at you and screams with excitement and before I know it I have a beer,my party dress on and we are havin a girls night!

WHY NOT!

I know I have said it a billion times in life and on this blog but it is soo true Life is short.. yesterday I decided to double think some of the typical parenting NO I say with out thinking. The kids and I were out getting coffee and gas yesterday when my little sweet boy said Mom can I pump the gas? I said No sorry honey when your older , this is a standard not thinking response I use a lot for such task. Really what I mean is it will take too long if you help me.. why am I always in a rush, why am I always in a hurry why don't I just let him help?
His response stopped me in my tracks, he yelled out Enough! Enough waiting till I'm older, teach me now!
Life is too short all we know is that we have this moment, the moment we are in and my son wants to pump gas... so I said okay but it is a mom and toad job not just a toad job okay! He agreed and yesterday at the PetroCan in his superman PJ'S my baby pumped gas. I wish you could have heard his voice well he was asking me what to do next, or seen his smile as he held the pump. He was doing something "big" and he didn't have to wait. They say you should use your good china or sit in the good living room I say let your kid pump gas and wait in the car it's freezing out there!

BBQ next time!

Yesterday was one of those days that started off with great promise, and then went crashing down. It is a good thing that we as a family are able to laugh amid a crappy day!
After a long day out of the house Rob and I were not in the mood to cook the steaks we had marinating in the fridge, it had some how turned into a pizza night. Poor Krista lost out on a steak dinner :(
Krista arrived for our sleepover and I ordered pizza, we have a new Domino's in Tillsonburg so I thought we could give it a try. The pizza was delivered in like 15 mins which was a bonus as the Witching hour was fast approaching however I was not prepared for the driver!

I answered the door and asked the driver to step in as I had still not located my purse. Patiently he stood in our front hall well I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off looking for my stuff. I ran to the back living room NOPE, Kitchen NOPE I was starting to think I had lost it when I called out to Mr. OCD,"do you know where my purse is?" "YEP" in the closet.. oh yes where it is suppose to go.. sorry honey!

PIZZA DRIVER... focus  focus! As I was rounding the corner to our front hall I saw sweet little toad toddling out to see our guest.. AH he loves company and he loves to talk to anyone.
So I was not prepared for what came next.. He said in a very humours and trouble making voice "Hi Fat Man!"
I was shocked and had NEVER heard him say that before..quick cover up for him quick I looked at him well scrambling to get my debit card out and said Toad don't say that we only say that to daddy..
WHAT? did I just say that? yikes we dont' say that to Rob what am I doing, this is not going good, I must have had a glimmer of laughter in my voice (kids feed off this) cuss he kept going... Hi there FAT MAN! Why was Fat man coming in so clear, why was he saying that soooo much louder then the other words??
Oh great here comes Kris she will get him and take him away as I crawl under our welcome mat... oh nope she was just getting her purse and laughing I think..oh man he is still here...
I tried to frantically punch in the pin # and very large tip so he would be able to leave but the toad had now made it a song Hi Fat Man, Hi there Fat Man.. what up Fat man.. oh my god this is insane..
BEEP communication error ARE YOU KIDDING ME.. the delivery man looks up at me and says sorry we will have to try again.. your saying sorry to me?
Oh gosh please let it work the poor man just wanted to deliver his pizza and go, not be called insulting names by a 4 year old.. As I try again Rob appears,thank god he will get him and he does but not before one more song and dance around FAT MAN...
I took the pizza thanked Fat man I mean the Pizza delivery guy and crawl back in the house. As the door closed I heard the laughter erupt from the kitchen.. yeah yeah all fun and games unless your the one there looking the poor man in the eyes.

One final love note

The other night I went to bed in tears, I hate Cancer! I hate what it does to those suffering from it, I hate what it does to families and I hate that we don't have a cure YET!

But I was not crying because I was sad (and I was ) but I was crying because I had just read the most loving and caring note a husband could ever write about his wife. I don't know them that well but I have been able to spend a bit of time with them both, their children and grandchildren and I felt blessed to be able to share his thoughts of his wife. He summed up my experiences with her perfectly, he complimented her on her positivity by saying "There was never a question of ‘glass half full or half empty’ for her; it was always brimming.. So true! He commented on her love of her family and friends and reminded us all that it is not our Jobs, bank accounts, km ran at the gym or how big our house is that we talk about when that person is gone it is the long walks, their love of art, and time with family that we remember. I was touched by the love he shared and he ended this note with In Lieu of flowers make someone laugh or perform a random act of kindness! What a loving tribute..My heart goes out to the Otten  Family at their time of loss and I want them to know that yesterday I spent the whole day trying to make someone laugh, and performed a random act of kindness in honour of Helga.